Dorinda Medley
Former Real Housewife of NYC, Reality TV Star and Business Woman Discusses Her New Book, “Make It Nice”
Dorinda Medley - Former Real Housewife of NYC, Reality TV Star and Business Woman Discusses Her New Book, “Make It Nice”
- I want to just welcome my two wonderful friends, and I want to thank you so much for, you know, to joining us on Lockdown University. The beautiful thing about this platform that I can share my wonderful friends, and I can show off their amazing attributes and their talents. So today’s very, very exciting day because Dorinda Medley, my very good friend, is going to be launching her book. And Dorinda and my other very good friend, Greg Calejo, are going to be in conversation together. So before I hand over to you, I am going to do a short introduction. We will then show a short clip, and then I’ll revert back to both of you. So Dorinda a very, very warm welcome and thank you.
Very honoured.
Thank you for joining us today. So Dorinda Medley is a TV personality. She’s an entrepreneur, a fabulous chef, an entertainer, a philanthropist, a fitness instructor, the most wonderful friend and outstanding mother. You may know her from “The Real Housewives of New York City,” but she’s best known for making it nice. She has always taken great pleasure in entertaining and decorating for the holidays and other special occasions at her home in the Berkshires, Blue Stone Manor. She enjoys theatre, travel, art, fashion, cooking, decorating, exercising, and the company of her friends and her family, especially her beautiful daughter, Hannah Lynch. Her memoir “Make It Nice” was just released in August, 2021, and tonight we’re going to have a big celebration. Wonderful. We are so looking forward to that. Greg, pleasure to have you in conversation with Dorinda.
[Greg] Thank you.
Greg is co-founder of AMPLIFY Partners New York, an experiential marketing and content creation agency. Prior to launching AMPLIFY Partners, he served in various marketing positions at Kerzner International Resorts and Casinos, where he produced business advancing contents, such as stars that are grand opening celebrations, celebrity focused functions, television specials, and more. How wonderful to work so closely with Sol, Greg!
Yes, it was a great-
[Wendy] Sorry, go on.
No, one of the great experiences of my lifetime.
And the great news is I got to attend them all.
[Wendy] Exactly.
Yes.
We all got attend them all, right?
Yes.
So now you know what I was doing behind the scenes. That’s why I didn’t have a chance, Wendy, to spend more time with you, ‘cause in those days I was really working and following Sol’s orders.
Okay. Well, Greg, it’s fabulous to have you here in New York City with us, and we do have the opportunity to spend a lot of quality time together. So now before I hand it over to the two of you, we’re going to show a short clip for our participants.
CLIP BEGINS
Hello! Happy, happy Wednesday! Today’s a happy day for me 'cause my parents get their second vaccination! Yay! So I want to make them something delicious 'cause I’m going to be spending the night with them. And who doesn’t love French onion soup? Well, good morning, everybody. It is a beautiful day in the Berkshires again. And as I promised last night, I am going to make my mother’s famous monster cookies.
Welcome to Blue Stone Manor. It is officially Christmas, and I’m so excited to have you. Come on in. Cold out there, huh? Well, I couldn’t let you down, even though I’m not having a lot of people here, just sort of Hannah and my brother, I wanted to make sure that you saw Blue Stone Manor in all its glory because I decorated as if it were any other year because I refused to give in to anything other than that. You saw the big nutcracker outside. These are my guys inside, and I love this 'cause that just makes me happy. I turn it on in the morning. Oh! Do I wish people were coming this year, but that’s okay. We can sit me here. No, me at the head. Hannah can sit here. Johnny can sit there. Mark can sit here. But I just decorated the whole table. Why not? (Exercise class begins) ♪ Then make a move before you try ♪ ♪ And go much farther ♪ Back. ♪ Oh baby ♪ Forward. ♪ You are the one ♪ ♪ You are the one. ♪ Back. We got to get the legs out next to us. We’re ready to jump up soon. Here we go. Get ready to jump rope. Here we go jump rope time. ♪ And jump ♪ The other side stretch. Oops. And now to the other side. Go down, lift up, down, lift up, down, lift up. Arms get wider. Down, lift up.
END OF CLIP
Oh goodness.
Well, well we do have a lot of fun. We did make the best of quarantine, that’s for sure.
[Greg] That we did.
We made the best of quarantine.
Okay, well, let’s say, yeah, I wanted to say hello everyone.
I just wanted to say thank God they took out the dirty pictures.
Yes, thank goodness they did that. We didn’t want to make it too risque.
That’s for later.
Yeah, then they’re going to really lock down the university. Anyway, hello everyone. And I wanted to thank our beloved friend, Wendy, for including our beloved friend, Dorinda, in this impressive “Lockdown University” programme. And for her thoughtful and very programming always. Full disclosure to everyone, if you haven’t figured it out already, Dorinda and I have been friends for a very long time, and I know Dorinda, the daughter, the mother, the wife, the widow, the celebrity, and the friend. I also quarantined with Dorinda and her daughter, Hannah, in the Berkshires and shared that unique experience of uncertainty, fear, concern, and that we all collectively confronted in one form or another in the very challenging year of 2020. During that period, the one characteristic that became readily apparent for me and where I’d like to begin this interview to share with you was Dorinda’s fearlessness during that period. And I wanted to explore the pillars of that courage, Dorinda. So what are the pillars of that courage and that fearlessness that makes you move forward despite whatever confronts you always?
Well, I think you have to always remember no matter where you are in your life, no matter what is happening, you have to keep going forward. You can’t listen to all the noise. You know what other people think of you or maybe when other people make choices about you, you have to know yourself well enough to know that it’s never an ending. It’s a new beginning. It’s just time to make a change. You know, I always say if you need to pivot to the left or pivot to the right a little bit, it’s okay. Just try to always get back to due north. And I think during COVID we learned our resourcefulness, right? The world stopped. I was put on pause from the “Real Housewives of New York City.” The world was put on pause, and we found ourselves out of New York City, away from all our friends. But I was very lucky because I had you there, my family, my home, and I was back in an environment that I always went back to during the times of hardship or trouble. So I think for me it was a huge growing period, and I just think you have to deal with things, anything in life: changes, you know, death, things that make you uncomfortable. You have to accept them first and then move within them.
You also, for you, speaking of coming home, that was all for you about your place of joy, your place of comfort, your place of safety, your place of family, right? Was that always despite whatever happened to you in the world?
100%. You know, I talk about it in the book a little bit about how my mother always spoke of this invisible string that she had with her mother and I have with her and one day I’ll have with my child. And I definitely felt it and feel like I have that with Hannah. But it’s interesting, my mother and parents were very good at presenting us with incredible opportunities without a lot of resources, to be honest with you. But, you know, always allowed us to dream the dream, provide as much as they could as far as the platform and enthusiasm, but we always knew that if we needed to come back home, we could. So that gave me a courage that, you know, to venture even sometimes a little further than I should. And, you know, sometimes when I venture too far and maybe got a little burned, sunburned, got too close to the sun. My mother used to always say to me, “Did you get too close to the sun?” I’m like, “I did, I need to come-” You know, “Did Icarus get too close to the sun?” That what she always say to me. You know, I come home and be able to recalibrate and know that my foundation, no matter what, no matter what else I was doing, if it was trying to do fashion or move to other countries or be a bigger shot than I was, if it didn’t go well, I could go back home. And the consistency of my parents, my values, my life, my spirituality, and my, you know, my real dedication to wanting to achieve and be better would just come back to life again. And it always did.
Maybe speaking of coming home, why don’t we share a one-way ticket home after spending a bonus?
That was my first real slap of reality because when I came to New York, you know, it was an interesting thing. My mother, I can see it today, my mother. I was at a public school very happy as a lark hanging out with everybody in Great Barrington, thinking, ah, I’m in love with this guy, Jeff Britt, this local. God, I’m going to get married and have 32 kids, and that’s it. And I remember I was listening to Van Halen, which is, by the way, there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s wonderful. A lot of my friends have done that and are very happy. But I was listening to Van Halen in the parking lot, and I didn’t know I got into Berkshire School, which is a private school, and, boy, my mother drove up in that green station waggon with her green raincoat on, and she said, “We’re done. You’re going to private school.” I was heartbroken. “I am never going to… I’ll never leave you. I hate her. She’s ruining my life.” You know, a year later in private school for a year, I never talked to those people again, okay? I was like, “What is out there?”
And I think, going back to what you were asking about, when I got to New York because I’d gone to Berkshire School and then gone to a private, sort of, very nice college I had gotten myself with a very nice group of people that probably had more resources than me, and, you know, I wanted to play in that sort of playground. So when I finally got my bonus in New York, I was going to show everybody what a big shot I was, and I spent the whole thing at the Surf Club. I was invited to the VIP room. I bought everybody drinks. I was told I would- and for a brief moment, I was that person. But then Icarus flew too close to the sun. I woke up the next morning, and I realised I can neither pay my rent or my Mellon credit card bill. So I called my father who said, “That’s okay. We’ll send you a Peter Pan bus ticket.” And that was it. I went home for a year, and I waitressed and saved a tonne of money. But it was such a good lesson because, you know, I realised, you know, you’ve got to be careful. And I’ve got to tell you something, I made that mistake once. And as Greg knows, I’m very, very good with my money, like I know every penny.
[Greg] Yeah.
I’m always, you know, making sure I know where it is, how it is, where it’s being spent, how it’s being invested, and I think it was because of that lesson. There can be a fall from grace and, you know, unless you keep yourself very, very eyes wide open, it can happen very quickly. And that’s what happened with COVID. One day we’re at the “Six” opening on Broadway, the next day we’re in COVID.
That’s right, or we were at the Tony Awards, weren’t we? That’s right. You were at the opening of the show, and then the next day or within the next 10 days, we were going up to what we thought was going to be-
Four days, four days. I went up on a Thursday, you-
Yeah, it was going to be a week or two weeks of quarantine or something like that and, almost a year later, quarantine was still in effect. Speaking of quarantine,
[Dorinda] Go ahead.
what were, tell me, you know, we’ve spoken about it, but what have been some of the great lessons for you about COVID? What, you know, what are the most… If there was anything positive to come of COVID, what would you describe those as?
Well, you know, of course there was a terrible time and, you know, it brought such an awareness, not only of, you know, we tend to live in a world, especially being New Yorkers and people that, you know, love that whole playground to live in a world that’s very fast and furious, and I thought the awareness of community and the bigger picture was such an interesting thing. You stop really worrying about yourself and where you’re going to go and what you’re going to wear and who you’re going to know, and all that went away very quickly. And this awareness of the bigger community and the people that were struggling through COVID and working on our behalf, really humbled me. You know, like a lot of the essential workers and things. You were like, “Wow.” So I think the awareness was one thing.
I think personally I, you know, pivoted very quickly again and made myself resourceful again and started all these, as Greg knows, I started like 25 different things, and I got this opportunity to communicate again with my parents in a way that I hadn’t had the opportunity to communicate, you know, with them in 40 years. I’ve been rushing around, and I just found it so nice to, you know, be back in a place where I grew up. It made me understand why I was who I was, and that’s why I think I decided to write a book 'cause it was a time of peace. It’s a time of knowing, right? You’re like, “That’s right.” I started here, and these are the people I started with and these are the values that are even going to get me through this terrible time called COVID. And, you know, my mother always says, you know, “It’s the very simple things that grow a plant. It’s the very simple things that grow a child.” You know, love, food, a little sunshine, and then they can suffer a bit of a storm. You know what I mean? But as long as, you know, you’re… And it did, I kind of got up and dug down and realised that, you know, this is an important time to grow and understand it’s not just about you, it’s about a bigger picture thing. So I think I grew a great appreciation and also a slight intolerance for the nonsense. coming back into the world now again. You know, I was much more tolerant to nonsense and, you know, nonsense of people, nonsense of situations, nonsense of what wasn’t important. Now I just want to be of like people and I want to be of like sentiment, and it doesn’t matter if it’s right or wrong.
It’s just where I am. If it doesn’t feel right and the people don’t feel right, I’m in a place now where I’m like, let’s just not do it. You know, let’s not waste our time on that stuff. You realise that time is so essential, right? So incredibly essential. And we have to be doing good things with our time. And I think that’s one of the reasons why I really love Wendy, and we just hit it off so quickly. You know, we were at the wedding together with our friend, Colin Cowie, but then we really sort of bonded at our friend, Andrea Kerzner’s house. And, you know, we have like mind. She has an awareness of the world that I like, an awareness of other people, an appreciation for the life that she’s been given, you know, and of her parents and her family. But yet she’s able to extend it to others in a way that consistently and constantly is trying to help, right? We can’t do everything. We can’t be the cure of everything, but that willingness to just contribute and help is kind of the people I want to be around going forward.
Yeah, we could say that about Wendy. Not to mention also her walking, her speed walking 'cause if you… In addition to mental health, she’ll help you with your physical health.
Let me tell you a story about Wendy. I thought, when Wendy and Greg and Andrea invited me on a walk, I thought it was going to be a nice leisurely walk where we talk and maybe gossip a little bit. And I had to leave. First of all, my blood sugar level dropped to nothing. And I couldn’t do it. I said, “You people are no fun.” Not at this pace.
Dorinda, let’s share with the audience a little bit. Now we’ve talked about a little bit about the Berkshires, but there was another important time and so many of this community knows London well, and London was such a transformative time for you. Why don’t you share what London was for you and your arrival in London and what that was like as the wife of a banker at Lehman Brothers? The late Lehman Brothers.
Yeah, well, we eventually landed in… You know, I was living in New York, you know, barely paying my rent, having a good time, you know, and then I started dating Ralph, who I just knew right away was going to be kind of the man I wanted to marry. And back then, you know, investment banks moved you very quickly. It wasn’t like you planned it. They would just say to you, “We want to move you to X,” and a week later you would be moved. So Ralph got this opportunity to open up some offices abroad because back then they didn’t have any real offices abroad for Lehman. And we actually started off in Hong Kong, and then we went to Australia, and then there was a couple little stops in between that just didn’t work out, and we landed in London. And you got to remember when I landed in London in 1989, there weren’t a lot of Americans, number one. I didn’t know anybody because I didn’t have a life that grew up with, you know, international people. There was no telephones or FaceTime or all that. You know, you had a telephone, but I mean, like, cell phones and all that. And it was really post-Thatcher. So you got to remember a very different London than it is today. A little post-Thatcher and the beginning of John Major, and it was a whole new world: visually, the way people ate, the way people attracted, the way people spoke.
And Lehman back then really required that Lehman wifes get engaged themselves because the husbands, meaning Ralph, worked 14, 15 hours a day. So you had to figure out how to engage yourself in this world, this new world, and pretend again like you were part of it. And it took me a while, but over time, you know, I say London and England, England especially, is like peeling an onion. It takes you a while, but after you peel it and you really get to know people and have good friends, and I had to do it in such a way knowing that I wasn’t an expat. I was married to a British person, so I was staying there forever. If I had stayed married to Ralph, I’d still be living in London. And I made friendships and was exposed to such incredible situations. And back then in investment banking, when they set you up in London, it’s not like now. They gave you a membership to the Hurlingham, the Queens’s Club, Annabel’s, Harry’s Bar 'cause they wanted you to be part of it, right? So it was a lot for a young person, but it really opened up a world that I learned so much from. And mean to the point, I remember when Tom Hill said to me at one point, “You’re throwing a dinner party for Lord King,” who at the time was running British Airways, right? And I was like, “Lord king, what?” “What do you mean?”
And then I realised, oh God, we have this apartment and neat place because I’m supposed to entertain. Ralph’s like, “Well, you got to learn to entertain.” And I literally went to etiquette school. I went to etiquette school to learn how to set a table properly and entertain. And it has sat with me to this day. I could, if you handed me a ruler right now, I could set the best table ever. That ruler. That’s when I really was like, “Wow, we’re in it.” Right? But these lessons and these growths and these seeing and these learning and these watching and these growing were just great experiences. And I was there for nine years. I became a wife there and a mother, which was I think a fantastic place to become a mother.
And being a mother in London’s very different than being a mother in the United States, right?
Very much. You know, I-
Because what was the great stories about how they took your daughter from you? They like 30 seconds and you’re like, what are you doing with, what are you taking her?
No, I mean, I had Hannah at the Portland, and, you know, back then everything was very formalised. I remember Mr. Gillard, who was my baby doctor, you called him mister not doctor. He said to me at one point, “Now, Mommy, it is Boxing. You’re supposed to have the baby somewhere between Christmas and New Year’s but remember it is Christmas, Boxing Day, and we have a very big party on Boxing Day, and of course you’re not going to bother me on New Year’s Eve.” I said, “Oh my God, no, no. I would never do that, Mr. Gillard.” So it was just a different kind of way and much more formal. I got to spend a week in the hospital after I had Hannah. And, you know, I think it was great to have a child at that time in London because I had so many… It was almost like a great social entree, and I really enjoyed it. And, you know, it was the bonding of a family, and it made me feel like London was my home. It just opened up a whole new world and opened up a whole new group of people, believe it or not. Hannah was a great social card for me. You know, I could always play the playdate card. And I met some incredible people that are still my friends today. I mean, I met you through my London people.
Yeah, yeah.
Heather and Andrea.
You have.
A lot of your life is still, you’re still very connected to London, and you go there often whenever you can, and your heart’s there.
Well the great thing about London is… My heart is there. The great thing is if you stay more than three days in London after living there for nine, 10 years, it’s as if you never left. It’s really bizarre rhythmically.
Now you also, in London, going to your early entrepreneurial days, you also started a company, a cashmere company.
[Dorinda] DCL Cashmere. DCL Cashmere.
Yeah.
Tell the audience a little bit about the beginnings of entrepreneurial Dorinda Medley.
Well, yeah, my husband was working ridiculous hours and I’ve always been entrepreneurial. I started teaching aerobics, believe it or not, to people in London in 1990, which is just a story in itself. That could be a book. But I realised spending the weekends in Scotland because my husband was Scottish is that, I would go to all the Scottish mills, and I just realised that there was just such a niche for a more fashionable cashmere. So I started to make very chic cashmere. And I also was luckily to be involved with a lot of very connected chic people. And it really took off very quickly within this little world of Lord and Lady and this one and rock stars. And, you know, Joan Collins once came to me and said, “I can wear this from LA to San Tropez.” I was really like, “Okay, that’s great.” And Princess Diana bought my cashmere, and Sharon Stone bought my cashmere. And it was this great little very luxury kind of curated brand that I became famous for. I knew I was famous when I heard it was on the front of the Daily Express one morning. It says, “Laura Bailey climbing out of the window of Richard Gere’s townhouse wearing DCL Cashmere.” I was like, “What? I’m famous!”
That’s great. Well, what was the thing that you designed also that you knew as a woman, right? You had that design of putting, you came up with a design concept that so many people later appropriated from you.
Oh, I created the hole, the finger. So everybody in London back then wore gloves, and it was so awkward to wear gloves. So I created this super long finger with the hole in it. And the Ralph Lauren designer, who I had lunch with at Le Caprice said, “That is a brilliant idea.” So I’m just saying, I’m not take credit for it, but I called it the gloved turtleneck, so you didn’t have to wear, you know, gloves.
So you were trendsetter even then.
Yes, I was a trendsetter. And what was great about that is I always was very aware, which sounds old-fashioned in a way, but I was always sort of aware that Ralph was working 15, 16 hours a day and he was sort of the main guy, and I had to be available for him and his job, which was Lehman. It was a lot of expectations, and I was a mother. So the great news about doing all these entrepreneurial things, I could always fit it into my life with my other roles. And that was always very important to me. To, you know, be able to do all the things and keep myself, you know, individualised.
Then after London, right, you’re now newly single. You and Ralph don’t work out. You divorce Ralph. You come back home to New York City, and New York is also such a transformative time in your life. What was coming back to New York like for you from London? Were you happy to come back? Were you not happy? Was it-
You know, I didn’t move back to New York because that I didn’t like London because I love London. I moved back because I realised that if I didn’t move back and have the support of my family, see it all goes back to my family again. And that, you know, I could be one… You know, Hannah’s going to grow up and marry a British person and that’s going to be my life, you know? So I thought I need to go back to my roots again. And Ralph was taking a job at Credit Suisse at the time, so all sort of worked out to move back. And my mother again and parents became a huge part of my life because I would go up on the weekends, and they’d take care of Hannah with me, or they’d come down here, and I just needed that support system again to figure out the transition. My family’s always been very good about being there during these transitional times. And what I love about my parents, you know, they’re very traditional as you know that. My mother goes to church every day. You know, as my mother said to… One day, I said, “Has it been hard being married to Dad 50 or 60 years?” She goes, “Divorce, never. Murder, every day. But that’s okay.” So they would never get, you know, that was a… But they never sort of scolded me or made me feel bad about the decisions I’ve made. They kind of rolled with it, which was incredibly current considering how incredibly traditional and, you know, growing up in such an ethnic family, right? Italian Polish family, right? And you even see that, Greg. My mother-
Oh yeah, yeah.
But you have share, you know, you and… You raised Hannah together and he’s always… You’re still great friends.
[Dorinda] Huge, huge part. We’ve entertained him together. I’ve even made lunch for him at your house, so.
Correct. Yeah, Ralph was stayed over. I mean, I never liked when people would say, “What’s it like being a single mother?” I’m like, “I’m not a single mother.” Ralph was in my house all the time. We just decided not to live together anymore. And Ralph was always a great provider. I never had that tension. Like when I came back to America, and I saw all these terrible divorces that broke up the family unit and ultimately, you know, a lot of times the kids suffered from it. Well, you see it. He’s in the house all the time.
Yeah, yeah.
And we had a common interest, which was Hannah Lynch.
[Greg] Yeah.
So she prospered. We prospered, yeah.
So then in New York, thinking of the evolution of the great Dorinda Medley, let’s reflect on your late husband that you met in New York, Richard Medley. And because this platform is also very,
[Dorinda] Political.
very accustomed to political topics, and there is that political background where you had a front seat, a geopolitical-
Very much.
And why don’t you share a little bit about geopolitical Dorinda with the audience and about Richard
[Dorinda] Well.
and what Richard did because many people
[Dorinda] Yeah. don’t know how important Richard was as an individual.
Incredibly influential man. And it’s funny, I never really thought about getting married again. And I met Richard. I was his real estate agent, which is hello. And no, I didn’t do anything with him when I was… He got the house. It was six months after he got the house, and he called me up. There was no tricks in between. You know, he actually had a girlfriend when he met me. And then I guess they broke up and, like six months later when he called, I thought he was going to ask me about the commission because I was his realtor. I thought he can’t take the commission back, right? Because that’s gone. True story. That’s a true story.
You actually thought he wanted to… As a banker you were worried that maybe he wanted to renegotiate.
Back out, yes, back out. I’m like, he can’t get out of this deal now, right? But, no, Richard was a very interesting guy. He grew up in Ohio. He was an American, and he was a veteran. And he went to college on the GI Bill and then ended up at Yale, where he got his PhD. And he became known for his geopolitical skills in the whole, sort of, world. He actually started off in Washington working under Senator Byrd as sort of a guy that… He was a great writer and a great thinker. So he helped write a lot of Senator Byrd’s speeches. And then Geraldine Ferraro, when she was running to be vice president, she was chosen to be her speech writer. So he spent, God, a year and a half on planes and trains and buses with her writing all of those speeches. And, strangely, he looked like ZZ Top at the time, which Geraldine Ferraro didn’t like, but he was a real Yale liberal like that. And he wouldn’t cut his beard off, but great writer. And then he went into a world of, which sounds very obvious now but at the time was very cutting edge. He figured out that what was going on, sort of, financially, what was going on politically, and somewhat personally really affected the market.
So Richard never traded. People are always like he must have, you know, made a fortune in the stock market, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t trade because he was dealing in both, but he could advise people. They called him the Magic 8 Ball. So Bernanke, he advised Bernanke. Soros, he did a lot with Soros. A lot of the huge banks, and a great writer. And he kind of would filter down how this financial world and political world knit together. Which sounds very obvious now because you have a lot of people that do it. I was watching someone the other day, Sassan Ghahramani was talking about it, and Richard actually was Sassan Ghahramani’s mentor. And at the time, the only place that really, really was engaging in this thought process, 'cause it was sort of political and academic and financial, which again was not so understood, was the Council on Foreign Relations, right? So you would get a lot of guys that were interested in the political world but were financial guys, like Pete Peterson or Soros or, you know, John Gutfreund. And they would end up at these places and they kind of knit this little world together, which was really a secret world back then. But, you know, involved Condoleezza Rice. You never knew who was going to be. You know, Madeleine Albright would be sitting in my living room. And then he did a lot of fundraising and work for the DNC and, particularly, for Hillary. He wrote a lot when she was campaigning. So I was put in the forefront of, you know, that whole political world, but really it was almost like a secret society because, you know, when you are in at that level, you would go to D.C., and you’d end up at anyone’s house and anybody would be walking and sitting, telling their stories. Senators. And I really enjoyed it because, you know, I never saw that before, and I never really, really took on how interesting, intriguing and, sort of, like what a secret society that world is, right? When you’re in, you’re in.
Yeah, it was like in the room where it happens, right?
[Dorinda] That’s right.
The Hamilton and the room where… but you had so many people at your home that would come to your home and maybe you’ll share-
[Dorinda] For advice.
some of you and Madeline and some of the great-
Oh yes, I brought one. Yes.
Oh, there you’re, look at you. You haven’t changed at all.
I found that last night. She loved my shoe collection.
Madeleine Albright And you also had Hillary at your house. You also did philanthropic work. You had Brad Pitt at your house. Angelina Jolie. What were those, what were those?
Father Tutu. Yeah.
Yeah. What were those organisations that you were involved with?
Well, Richard was very involved with the Aspen Institute and the TED conferences and stuff, and at the time they, well, I guess they still are, they were done doing a lot of charity work. So Richard really believed in engaging, He got involved with the Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt charity because they were rebuilding New Orleans at the time, remember?
Yeah, yeah.
And the TED conferences were somehow engaged in that. And we threw a beautiful fundraiser at our townhouse, which I was sort of in charge of, which was so fun. I think that’s where all my hostessing skills came out. But Richard really liked those events, But Richard really liked the local charity events. Like he was really big at anything that was going on in New York and the outer boroughs of New York. So Richard which was a great traveller in the outer boroughs of New York. And I don’t know if you guys remember this, but you know, not too long ago, the idea of a charter school was really a cutting edge thing. And he got hugely involved with all the charter schools and he would just, you know, raise money to donate all the computers for them or hold big charity events to make sure that they had lunches, you know, which were very localised sort of things, but made a big difference to the community. And I loved that about Richard because he was like, “I really believe that you should deal with what’s in your neighbourhood before you start dealing with…” You know, get involved in everything, but you got to think about what’s going on 20 blocks from here, and he did a lot of that work.
All those people you entertained all the time at the house. Were there anyone that particularly stood out to you that moved you personally in one form or another?
Yes. I remember probably the most incredible moment is when I came home with Hannah from school, and my mother was sitting with Father Tutu in the living room saying prayers.
Oh.
I was like, this is a moment, right? And then she said to me, my mother was then invited to the dinner that night 'cause I thought, oh, such a big shot, and my mother’s so religious. I’ve invited father Tutu. I am the best daughter ever, right? And she said to me, “I don’t need to go to dinner now. I’ve said prayers with him. I’m going to bed to watch television.” I said, “Really? That’s it?” So that was a beautiful moment, and I used to always find it… Oh, there was a great time once when I came home, and I’ve never forget it. Richard wasn’t home yet, but Hunter Thompson was in my garden and what he said, he had never met me. So when I walked out in the garden to introduce myself, he said to me, “Who the hell are you?”
He actually said that to you?
Yeah, he said he knew Richard for like 25 years. And I don’t think, who knows, I probably didn’t, you know, because Richard had that big brighter side. So instead of getting on right away, going to go out and introduce myself, “Hello, I’m Mrs. Medley.” He stood up and said, “Who the hell are you?” But I later found out after meeting him a couple times, that he was a little bit of a, you know, dark character, right? See, you never knew who was going to be sitting. I remember when the whole thing when they were trying to catch Qaddafi, no, Saddam Hussein, sorry. And all these people would be in my garden, and Richard would be advising them. And you know, you could ask just so many questions and then not ask any other questions. You know what I mean? So it was a very interesting time for me and a very growing time. And I loved it. I mean, Richard’s going to be passed 10 years now, but I still run into the cast of characters, you know, if I’m ever in Washington or I’m walking by. I was just walking by the council a couple weeks ago, and I saw Richard Howson. He is like, “How the hell are you?” You know? It was just so interesting, right?
You’ve kept those friends throughout this, you know, despite Richard’s absence, you’ve kept those friends.
[Dorinda] Yeah. So then you have this incredible life with Richard. And then you… Tell them a little bit about Blue Stone Manor, which is a very special, almost a landmark point. And an ongoing-
Yeah, Blue Stone Manor is something that Richard and I… I loved Blue Stone Manor growing up. I actually grew up in the town where Blue Stone Manor is, and I always admired the house. And my great-grandfather actually helped build the house, along with my grandfather. They were Italian Masons. Always admired the house, and Richard actually got the house for me as a wedding present before we got married 'cause he knew I admired this architectural outstanding place. It was built by Stanford White. And we were going to end up living there, and he was going to write there, you know, just sort of, that was going to be our thing after the kids. But unfortunately, he got sick and passed. But Blue Stone Manor has really become a safe haven for me and for many others. I mean, it was huge on the show, but even since I’ve not been on this show, it’s kind of taken on… It’s almost like an urban legend when people come. Don’t you think a little bit, Greg?.
It is, it is. Well, everybody knows the house. It’s such a landmark-
[Dorinda] Yeah. in Great Barrington, and the fact that you were so.
And it’s a great place where I create now.
[Greg] Yeah.
And I have my friends, and I host my family, and it was an incredible safe haven during COVID and quarantine.
The most amazing place to quarantine. Speaking of that, right, so you go… You have this… You share this place with him, and then all of a sudden his untimely passing, and you have the opportunity to join a show. Tell 'em 'cause I know that there a lot of people advise you against doing the show, right?
Everyone did, everyone.
And you had a lot of concerns, and how does that happen? How do you get invited to be on the show? Tell everybody how, you know, how the path to a big reality star occurred.
Well, you know, when they started the show called “Moms of New York,” like 14 years, 13 years ago, I would lived in New York City, and I knew all the girls. So they was all being talked about as everything does on or did on the Upper East Side. And you know, I would go on the show, if you look at a lot of the old up seasons before I went on, I’m in the background because I knew all the girls.
The original show was called “Moms of New York”?
They were going to call it “Moms of New York.”
[Greg] Oh, gotcha.
And I’ll never forget, I was sitting with Jill Zarin and Ramona actually, and I think they said, “ Yeah, that’s 'cause the show’s coming called 'Moms of New York.’” And I said, “Well, what’s it about?” They said, “It’s about all of us and everything we do and how we go to parties and what we do on the Upper East Side.” I was like, “That sounds ridiculous. No one’s going to watch that.” Can you imagine?
Wow.
But it just didn’t fit into my life at the time. You know, I was a single mom. Hannah was at private school. I didn’t want, you know, it’s an invasion of your privacy. I mean, it’s a whole new world when you join something like that or do any kind of stuff that involves television. And then, of course, I kind of dabbled in it a little bit before I married Richard, but then I married Richard and of course that wasn’t going to work out ‘cause how’s that going to go with the geopolitical world? So after Richard passed and Hannah went to college, they asked me, kind of, again would I consider coming on? And you know what I thought why the hell not? I mean everybody was like, “Oh my God, don’t do reality TV.” I mean, my mother strange, she was like, “Go for it. Why not?” You know, “It’s your time now.” That’s what’s so funny about my mom. She’s like this incredible, very traditional, you know, saint that’s kind of like a rapper inside. She’s like, you know, she’s just open for anything, right? I just love that about her. She looks at the big picture. How much are they going to pay you? What opportunities is it going to get you? Who are you going to meet? You know, she’s just like a real great out there person, which I love. She’s always of the moment, but she supported it. My intuition said to try it for a year, and if I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t do it anymore. And I did it for a year, and I liked the camera. The camera liked me, and off to the races I went for six years.
Did you have any doubts in the beginning or no?
[Dorinda] No.
You knew.
You know, because I just knew that, you know, I knew the girls. I had been around them when they were filmed. All they asked you to do is kind of be yourself. I really didn’t have any doubts until it had filmed, and then I left. And then three months later after they edited it, and I turned on the TV, and they said, “This season on the 'Real Housewives of New York City,’” you see this girl turn around and goes, “I give Uptown a whole new attitude.” And I’m like, oh my God, that’s me, you know? Then the reality hit that life was going to change. But, you know, it’s provided me with a lot of opportunities and platforms and situations as you know, Greg. You’ve lived through them all.
[Greg] Yeah.
And you know, I think I’ve managed it well, and I’ve used it. I didn’t use it as an opportunity of fame. I used it as a platform, and it’s opened up so many great platforms. And the truth of the matter is, it’s made all my friends laugh. I mean, everybody gets a kick out of it at the end of the day.
Yeah. What was the… Share with the audience what Andy Cohen said to you regarding what was going to happen to your life and…
Oh yeah, I remember we were talking about-
Tell everyone who Andy Cohen is, just in case people don’t know.
Andy Cohen runs the show. Bravo. He’s kind of like the big… If there’s “Charlie’s Angels,” he’s Charlie. So he’s the big guy that we all kind of look up to and, sort of, report to. And he said to me, “Well,” you know, “your life’s going to change. If they have any skeletons, they’re all going to come out.” And I thought to myself, oh my God, do I have any skeletons? Let me think, let me think, let me think. And luckily, thank God, I don’t really have any terrible skeletons thanks to Diane Cinkala ‘cause she’d kill me. The guilt that my mother made sure that we never did anything that bad. My mother’s voice was always right here, right? But, you know, at the end of the day, it was a great thing for me to do because it was for me. It wasn’t about being a mother. It wasn’t about being a wife. It wasn’t about being a daughter. I just was like, I’m done with all that. I want to just do me, you know, for a year or two and see what it was like to venture into this world. And I’m going to say it, and people don’t want to hear it, but even like making your own money, like seeing your own paycheck come in, that was all yours was very, very satisfying.
[Greg] Yeah.
And seeing all the opportunities that came out for me. You know it, Greg.
Yeah, sure.
I mean, how many situations you’ve represented.
I have to say-
Look at, I’m here today.
Yes, yeah.
I’ve written a book, yes.
You’re in Lockdown Academy. Well, you know, I was thinking, you know, for those people that don’t know, when I go out with you publicly, I see the impact of your celebrity. And even we’ve been friends for so long, but it still-
You forget 'cause we lived together 'cause there were pyjamas.
It’s still, and being in the entertainment business as long as I’ve been, it always surprises me the engagement that you have with your fans, which is quite remarkable.
I love.
But I guess my question to you is, have you now finally come to terms with the fact that you actually are a celebrity? Or do you still not consider yourself a celebrity?
I don’t consider myself a celebrity. I don’t. I consider myself, I mean, I’ll tell you a story. I just, you know, had a bunch of fans that I did a FaceTime with last night and one guy was like, “Hi, my name’s Don, and I’m so happy to talk to you right now.” And the other guy’s like, “Hi, my name’s Kevin. I’m so happy to talk to you right now.” And then the third guy, they were like, “Come over. No, come over Simon.” He’s like, “I can’t believe I’m talking to you.” And it still makes me like, what? He said, “I can’t believe. I’ve waiting for this all.” See and that to me is just really the, you know what it is, it’s not the fact that’s me, it’s the power of fame. The power of television. Because you have no idea, do you?
[Greg] Yeah. How serious and how, yeah. What a big… You know what it is, whatever it is, this recognition, it’s a responsibility.
Yeah, it is. Well I’ve seen it because remember not long ago when we were in the Hamptons
[Dorinda] Hamptons.
with Wendy and at Andrea’s, and I remember attempting to walk down East Hampton with you. And we had-
[Dorinda] Leave.
to abort our shopping plan because the crowds on the sidewalk went crazy. And we had to change plans, and hide in a restaurant.
In the back.
Because we couldn’t walk down the street, and it’s just a remarkable thing to see.
Well the thing that’s remarkable to me is, I going to tell you a funny story, Greg. You’ll like this. So Greg introduced me to this great restaurant that’s now my favourite restaurant. Felix, right?
[Greg] Yeah.
[Dorinda] Yeah.
Fleming, Fleming, Fleming.
Fleming, Fleming’s, I always get it wrong, Fleming’s, which is very kind of Upper East Side, small, very elegant. And I was there a little bit ago for lunch, and there was this very elegant woman with the pearls and the Chanel jacket and the beautiful chignon. And she’s looking at me and I’m thinking, oh, she must think, oh my God, there’s that reality star sitting in the restaurant because I’m always so paranoid, right? And as I walk by this is, I swear to God it’s a true story. Then walk by, she goes, “Oh my God, I’m such a big fan.” Like, you? You’re like 90 years old. I’m like, you know what I mean? I’m thinking she’s looking at me in disgust, like how dare they bring that reality star.
You see? Well I have to say I’d love to, you know, now that we’re there, I have to ask you, you have to share with the audience 'cause we’re getting close to time because I know that you have a book launch today and you have a book launch-
At the Strand! Sold out!
And you have to prepare for that. And I know that Vogue Magazine is in the background waiting to capture your styling and preparations. So very exciting, but will you share, you know, being-
[Dorinda] Dorinda. pointing with you some of the great Dorinda lessons that your mother, the great Diane Cinkala, taught you because her sayings are among the most-
Verbal blessings.
And blessings as some of the most funny sayings I’ve heard. And I think that the Lockdown University audience may enjoy hearing-
[Dorinda] Yes.
some of the greatest hits from Diane Cinkala.
My mother. So I’m famous on the show for my Dorinda-isms, but it’s really my mother, Diane Cinkala, that has mastered them that I’ve learned this skill from. And that Greg was, luckily, got to be exposed to some of them. And we would laugh 'cause she says them with seriousness. They’re short little clip-its that just tell a wealth of lessons. And you know, so some of the things she said, I was telling Greg this the other day. I came home and my mother said, I said, “Oh my God, I don’t think they’ve had a job for a long time.” She goes, “Well, you know what, if he doesn’t have a job, then his job is to get up every day and get a job.”
That’s my favourite. I love that saying.
And then another one was, which I was telling Wendy, this was the best. I said I came home the other day and I said, “Oh, I’ve run into so-and-so on the street.” And I said, “God, she is still a beautiful woman” “Ah, face like an angel, mouth of a serpent.”
I love that.
And then she said, no one did this… I have so many of them to give. My mother always says, “Oh, believe in half of what you hear and all of what you see.” I love that one.
That’s one of my favourites as well.
Yeah right? And then she said, this is was one that made me feel better when I was crying my eyes out about getting put on pause from “Real Housewives.” She was washing, she said, she goes, “Well, don’t you worry, Dorinda Cinkala. No one misses the water till the well runs dry.”
That’s so good.
And I think the final one when I was growing up, I’ll never forget it, I came home from catechism, and I was like, “I hate this Ten Commandments stuff. I hate it. It doesn’t even make sense to have those.” She goes, “Well, I’ll tell you one thing, it’ll keep you out of jail.”
That is wonderful.
So that’s my tribute to my mother. But I have to say a little bit about Wendy right now. I was so lucky, Wendy, to have met you. I think we fell in love when we were in the Hamptons, and I snuck into your bedroom and we just started talking about all these wonderful things. And then I really fell in love with Wendy when I met her parents because I was like, as I’m all about that, you know, meeting the parents, who are just such wonderful people. I’ve met them before, but it wasn’t until we really had supper in their apartment the other night that I was like, I get it now. I get it why Wendy is such a special person, such a giving person. Because Wendy is all about coming from a place of “Yes.” You mentioned of things. She’s like, “I’ll do it. What do you need me to do?” And it’s just so wonderful, right? It’s so loving and inclusive and to be involved in this today, and I know it’s probably a little off the beaten path of other people, but I’m just so appreciative to not only have your friendship, but to have had this opportunity to be involved in this platform today.
And thank you so much. Wendy and Lauren, I think we’re going to open it up to see if there’s any questions. And if there are no questions, then we’re going to have to turn this over to Vogue Magazine, who is getting ready as we-
Greg, I would just like to respond to Dorinda to say, you know what, I feel really blessed that you came to my life. You too, Greg. We’ve had this wonderful-
Thank you. Likewise, likewise, Wendy.
Almost like old slippers, you know?
[Dorinda] Yeah.
We are like-minded individuals, who do love to share, who think about community, and Dorinda and I came up with the slogan:
[Wendy and Dorinda] I see you. I see you.
Exactly. Because you know, we walking in the streets. People are just walking past everybody. People are not acknowledging others. It’s a lot of loneliness, and there’s a lot of isolation. And so I want to just thank you for the lovely things that you said about me and my family. And I love our power walks, guys, so-
[Dorinda] I understand.
[Greg] Yes, yes.
Thank you very much. And now let’s hand over to questions.
[Lauren] We have one question from Yolanda, who says, “Dorinda, you have such beautiful skin. Is it genetic, you avoid the sun, or do you have a magical face cream?”
I really think it’s my background. I’m sort of Polish Italian and a little Moroccan. And I think it just has given me blessed skin because I- But I’m pretty, you can ask Greg, I take care of my skin. I’m very aware of it, and I take care of it. But I really think it’s genetic. My mother, Diane, has beautiful skin. Don’t you think so, Greg?
Yeah, yeah, but you’re very mindful always that you-
[Dorinda] Yeah.
Yeah.
And I’d like to ask you, what about your Jewish roots?
Oh yes. And there’s also too. My grandmother from Poland comes from an orthodox background, but when they came to America, they had to change. No one’s really told the story, but my father growing up and my grandfather always spoke Hebrew. Isn’t that funny? So we have to do that whole thing, figure that all out. I’m a great combination.
Wendy, we got to help Dorinda discover that side at the next beautiful Shabbat dinner at your house.
Yeah, my grandfather and my father always spoke Hebrew. Can you imagine?
There you go, and such a Catholic upbringing. Your mom’s a devout Catholic. So were you.
And so was my grandmother because I think they converted when they all came over 'cause they came over to Ellis Island and, who knows. You know, nothing was really… The amazing thing about that generation is they never spoke of much. You know, it was all about being an American. I remember someone said to me one day, “Why didn’t you learn Polish? Why didn’t you learn Italian?” Because that’s not what you did when you were an immigrant trying to incorporate yourself into this new world called America. I think if you, I don’t know. We just never did. It was all about being American, all about the American dream, all about-
Assimilating, right?
[Dorinda] Yes, yep.
It was all about assimilation, assimilation, assimilation.
Well, that’s another track that we could follow. I’ll probably introducing you to our wonderful Trudy. And it’ll be very interesting to really explore your ancestral roots. So, Greg and Dorinda, the hour is up, and I know that you’ve got a very busy afternoon ahead of you. Book signing.
[Dorinda] Yes.
And then a big celebration. So to both-
And here’s my book., “Make it Nice.”
Absolutely. For everybody listening, the book is being launched today. “Make it Nice.” You all can find it on Amazon. Hold it up, Dorinda, please. Let everybody-
Oh, oh yeah.
[Wendy] Yeah.
Where books are sold.
It’s a beautiful, beautiful read. And it tells the most fabulous, fascinating story about, you know, Dorinda’s journey through life.
And Lockdown University, people from Lockdown University, if they would like a signed copy, they can reach out to Wendy or to Lauren for a signed copy, especially for Lockdown University audience only.
Yes.
That’s a big ask for Dorinda.
Listen, I saw what 500 autographs looks like. She can do it.
5,000. I did 5,000. Can you imagine? I wanted to cry my eyes. I had to put my hand literally inside an ice freezer, the freezer ice. And Greg came around the corner one day, and I had my hand inside the ice bucket. The ice machine.
She had her hand in an ice bowl 'cause it hurts so much from signing so many books.
Well, thank you guys. A million, million thanks.
[Dorinda] Bye.
Thank you, Dorinda. Thank you, Wendy. And, as we all say, Godspeed.
Thank you very much. See you later. Thank you, everybody, for joining us. Thank you, Lauren. Bye bye.